Photo by MART PRODUCTION
Love, whether platonic or romantic, is vital for your well-being and your physical and emotional health. According to Stephanie Cacioppo, a neurologist at the University of Oregon and author of the book 'Wired for Love: A Neuroscientist’s Journey Through Romance, Loss, and the Essence of Human Connection,' love is an essential biological necessity, comparable to the need for fresh water, food, and physical exercise.
Sue Carter, emeritus director of the Kinsey Institute in Indiana and an expert in social bonds, argues that love is so crucial for our health and well-being, as well as for reproduction, that it cannot be reduced to mere learning.
The brain is the control center for our emotions and our reactions to love. Although the heart is often associated with love, research shows that most of the benefits related to love come from the brain, which is evolutionarily programmed to produce and release hormones when we feel attraction, affection, and attachment.
Understanding how the brain receives and transmits signals, as well as the consequences of a decrease in these signals, is essential for navigating the complexity of human relationships, from friendship and love to heartbreak and loss.
Hormones play a crucial role in this equation. Both our mind and body use a complex network of neurotransmitters and chemical messengers to coordinate various functions and to influence our emotions. These chemical messengers, known as hormones, are part of our body's endocrine system and are regulated by important structures in the brain, including the hypothalamus, hippocampus, amygdala, thalamus, basal ganglia, and cingulate gyrus. Certainly, here is an extended rephrasing of the text, along with spell and grammar check:
Collectively, these structures make up the limbic system - one of the oldest parts of the brain from an evolutionary perspective. It is here where our dearest memories are stored and where smells are processed in a way that often triggers strong emotional reactions. Additionally, this area is considered the primary region of the brain involved in experiencing and manifesting attraction and affection towards others.
It is fascinating to observe how this limbic system is involved in the emotional processes underlying love. Cynthia Kubu, a remarkable neuropsychologist from the Center for Neurological Restoration at the Cleveland Clinic in Ohio, explains that this system allows various hormones to exert their effect on us, encouraging us to approach others and open our hearts. It's like a subtle dance of brain chemicals that regulate our emotional and behavioral responses in the context of human relationships.
Kubu highlights the essential role that love hormones play in this process. These hormones, naturally released in our brain, are responsible for generating intense moods and emotions when we are in love or feel attracted to someone. In particular, there are seven hormones considered to be central to the experience of love and how we perceive and live it.
The seven love hormones
1) Oxytocin, often called the "love hormone," is known for its ability to stimulate social bonding, increase trust, and deepen feelings of attraction towards others. This hormone is released during positive social interactions, such as pleasant conversations, gentle touches, or recreational activities together, contributing to increased feelings of attachment and commitment to our partner.
2) On the other hand, vasopressin is another crucial hormone that influences our experience of love. It arouses feelings of excitement associated with falling in love and commitment to another person. In addition to its positive effects, such as feelings of closeness and protection towards our partner, vasopressin can also trigger less pleasant emotions, such as jealousy or possessiveness, in more tense or competitive situations.
3) Dopamine is one of the body's most studied reward hormones, known for its ability to generate a pleasant feeling of well-being. It is activated by stimuli that bring us pleasure, such as food, physical exercise, or psychoactive substances. In the context of romantic relationships, the release of dopamine is often associated with intimate moments, such as kissing or sexual intercourse.
According to Larkin, when dopamine is released, it triggers reward pathways in the brain, leading to the "ecstasy" feeling of love and increasing our desire and motivation to be with our partner. This strong reaction is sometimes compared to the euphoria induced by powerful psychoactive substances, such as cocaine.
4 and 5) Testosterone and estrogen, also known as "sex hormones," play essential roles in stimulating reproductive desire and regulating sexual activity. According to Larkin, these hormones are also responsible for our fundamental desire to maintain intimate relationships. They are also frequently associated with infatuation or sexual desire. From another perspective, these hormones motivate sexual activity, while dopamine rewards this action.
6) Norepinephrine triggers physiological responses when we come into contact with a new person or fall in love. These responses may include increased heart rate, increased energy levels, or sweaty palms. Norepinephrine is also associated with memory storage and retrieval, which is why many couples can vividly remember their first dates and moments of falling in love.
7) Serotonin is one of the few neurotransmitters identified as having low levels in some stages of romantic attraction. These lower levels are comparable to those of individuals suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). According to research by Sandra Langeslag, a behavioral neuroscientist at the University of Missouri-St. Louis, this indicates a similarity between people in love and those with OCD, as both groups exhibit obsessions and compulsive behaviors related to their romantic interest.
Although various activities can trigger the release of any of these chemical compounds, hormones are not always activated in isolation, and many factors can lead to the simultaneous production of multiple chemicals. For example, both dopamine and serotonin contribute to the occurrence of obsessive thoughts.
"Love is a much more complex and multisensory phenomenon that involves all our senses and affects the brain in many profound and mysterious ways," says Jacquie Olds, associate professor of clinical psychiatry at Harvard Medical School.
The health benefits of love
Regardless of the reasons or moments when love-related hormones are released, each chemical is associated with different benefits for mental and physical health.
According to Cacioppo, when the love network is activated, it triggers reward centers in the brain, releasing a cascade of hormones, neurochemicals, and natural opioids that induce feelings of joy and contribute to healing our bodies and managing pain.
Among the proven benefits of having love in your life are stress reduction, improved sleep, strengthening of the immune system, pain reduction (studies show that oxytocin in the blood aids in healing), depression reduction, improved problem-solving skills, increased cognitive functions, and even prolonging life.
Secure relationships, whether romantic or non-romantic, "create biological states that promote relaxation, growth, and restoration," says Carter. "Throughout life, building loving relationships is essential for good health."
Why you're love-struck
The various stages of a relationship can bring varied benefits. Research shows that certain hormones are more present in the initial phase of falling in love, while others bring long-term benefits.
For example, norepinephrine is released more frequently at the beginning of a relationship when there are many unknowns, putting the brain into "proceed with caution" mode.
"In the early stages of a relationship, there is an increase
in adrenaline levels, which can produce sensations such as butterflies in the stomach and a faster heart rate. There is also reduced activity in the parts of the brain that help us make decisions, which can cause a person to be 'blinded' by the faults of another person in the initial phase of love or infatuation," explains Lucy Brown, clinical professor of neurology at Albert Einstein College of Medicine in New York.
As the relationship progresses and commitment grows, some of the initial passionate feelings, rewarded by dopamine, are replaced by other hormones, such as oxytocin and vasopressin, which play a more significant role in maintaining a long-term relationship.
What happens when we break up?
Even though the physical and mental benefits of these hormones are significant, "we pay the price of having emotional reactions when we lose our partners," explains Carter.
A breakup can mean losing a steady flow of feel-good hormones, such as dopamine and oxytocin, while experiencing an increase in stress-related hormones, such as cortisol and norepinephrine.
"A breakup abruptly deprives us of the neurotransmitters we've grown accustomed to," adds Olds. "Just as a dependent doesn't want to quit cold turkey, a difficult breakup causes immense suffering."
For some people, this may even include physical discomfort.
"A breakup triggers a stress response in the body and brain, and the brain reacts as if there is a painful physical stimulus," explains Brown. Often, a sudden longing follows - similar to that of a dependent going through withdrawal. "You're looking for the person who isn't there anymore, for the positive feelings you once associated with your loved one," explains Cacioppo. "That's what heartbreak or unrequited love means."
Kubo argues that these feelings of loss or longing can manifest as loss of appetite, changes in weight, sleep disturbances, anxiety, or depression.
Such feelings can be significantly amplified if someone's partner dies. In extreme cases, this can be life-threatening for the grieving individual.
"Oxytocin is crucial in protecting all tissues, but especially the heart," explains Carter.
When a constant flow of it suddenly stops with the death of a loved one, it can create a cardiovascular reaction. For many people, this, plus the release of stress hormones accompanying the sudden loss, can cause increased blood pressure, accelerated heart rate, and difficulty breathing.
Although such symptoms are the most severe physical manifestations for most people, individuals with underlying heart conditions, "might be at risk of having a heart attack," says Larkin. Here comes into play the rare medical condition known as broken heart syndrome.
"A groundbreaking study on bereavement from the 1960s looked at 4,486 widows in the UK," explains Cacioppo. "In the first six months after losing their spouses, they had a 40% higher risk of dying than a married person of the same age."
Fortunately, the most severe consequences associated with the breakup of a loved one - whether through a breakup or a death - diminish over time as we form and strengthen new relationships.
"When social ties are broken by separation or loss of a partner, the nervous system needs time to rebalance and adapt," says Carter. "We can literally feel the pain of a lost relationship forever, but as new connections form, they can help heal the emotional pain associated with loss."
Self-care can also aid in healing. "After the hardest first days or weeks, it's important to do things that bring you pleasure to reduce stress hormones and increase love hormones," advises Larkin.
What to do depending on your situation
It's helpful to acknowledge your situation and eventually expand your comfort zone to form more meaningful connections with loved ones or new acquaintances.
If you're in a relationship where you feel a lack of love and the accompanying hormones, Langeslag suggests spending more time with your partner, focusing on the positive aspects of the relationship and shared beautiful memories, or exploring physical intimacy as ways to stimulate the release of these chemicals and improve your bond.
If you're not in a romantic relationship currently, love-related hormones can still be triggered by spending quality time with family members and close friends, hugging, spending time in nature, or even interacting with household pets, says Larkin.
The only thing you shouldn't do is adopt a solitary lifestyle. Just as with other mammals, humans have not evolved to live alone. "Love is not optional. It's not something we can do without," says Cacioppo. "Love is a biological necessity."